It started to drizzle this morning as I dropped Chloe off at daycare. I took her inside and again, she started to hold me really tightly and cried. But it wasn’t her usual cry. She buried her head deep in my chest and cried quietly. I could see her tears coming down her cheeks, without a word. She stayed like that for a while then quietly let go of me as the teacher took her away. It was as if she was finally accepting the brief goodbyes. I couldn’t shake off the heavy emotions… and Andrew felt the same heartache when I told him what happened. Few hours later, he emailed me this poem saying that he couldn’t stop thinking about it…

I let people know how I feel,
With a laugh or cry that is real,
I do the latter when dropped off at daycare,
Because initial seperation is hard to bare,

Everyday when my mom said bye,
I started to cling and started to cry,
Now three weeks have gone and passed,
Today as my eyes have amassed,
I burrowed my head in my mom’s chest,
I no longer cling but softly nest,
Accepting morning seperation will be,
The silent tears for only me.

I’m always rushing to go home so I can spend time with Chloe and make her dinner on time. My mother-in-law told me that as soon as 5 o’clock hits, Chloe’s by the window looking for me to come home. It’s amazing how she can tell the time! How does she know? Since I heard that, I started feeling really bad when I run late. I can clearly imagine my little girl waiting for me standing by the window and calling me! Today, not only was I running late, I didn’t have anything prepared for Chloe’s dinner. She had just finished her chicken vegetable soup for lunch and there was only the vegetables left on the pot. I had to be creative and fast. The only thing I could think of was to add some tomato paste and voilà! She had tomato vegetable sauce over wheat pasta for dinner.

Getting her and myself ready in the morning has been very challenging. The first thing I do is make her a banana soy milk shake and give it to her in her sippy cup. She drinks it and just hangs around me on the kitchen floor while I make her breakfast and pack her lunch with some snacks for daycare. I also make her fresh fruit and veggi juice for a mid-morning snack. So, if I take too long, she starts to get bored and holds on to my legs, attempting to climb into my arms. I have to say feeding has gotten a lot easier though. She loves to feed herself and actually refuses when I do it. The downside is that it takes forever when she does it, but it gives me time to grab a bite. Then, washing her face and hands and getting her dressed is the next most challenging part. She loves being naked so when I undress her pjs, she runs away from me. The best solution so far has been turning on the TV. Something about those Wiggles guys can grab Chloe’s attention right away and she becomes easier to maneuver.

The whole family has been feeling under the weather on and off for the past two weeks, so I made one of Chloe’s favorite dish which is beef stew with carrots and potatoes. There’s nothing like a hearty meal on a rainy day. When I tell her that her dinner’s ready, she goes “Mmmmm” with a big smile. She’s a really appreciative eater!

Daddy loves to tickle Chloe in her belly. She loves it. She keeps going back for more. Ahh, her laugh is music to my ear…

We found out we are having a…
BOY!!! I had a feeling this might be a boy! Not because this pregnancy was any particularly different, but I just had a feeling. I always thought I wanted 2 girls but I was so happy when I found out it was a boy. I guess what I really wanted was one of each after all. I broke into tears. Sooooo happy right now. Andrew really REALLY wanted a son. Thank you, Thank you God for yet another precious gift…

Day 3 at the daycare, Chloe learns to cry less and less each time when I drop her off. Monday was her “real” first day because I left her there by herself for the first time and she cried about 30 minutes and throughout the day on and off. Biting my lips, I quietly watched her crying from the hallway and it was absolutely heartbreaking! I was about an hour late for work because I just couldn’t leave. Tuesday, she cried about 5 minutes after I left and that was it! This was a big progress and I was really relieved. Today it was ONLY 2 minutes!! One of the teachers came out and told me the secret. Chloe LOVES to draw so she’s okay once she has a crayon in her hand. As an artist, I was so thrilled to hear that my little girl might share my passion… I’m speechless.

Doesn’t she really look like she’s talking on the phone? As soon as a phone rings, she grabs my blackberry and runs away with it.

It’s fun to watch Andrew and Chloe interacting. Andrew patiently answers all of her questions when she points at objects and asks “what is that”?
Chloe has been sleeping with us for a week now because she’s had a cold and because it’s become difficult to hold her and soothe her all night back to sleep. Now we are torn between taking her back to her own crib and letting her stay in our bed. We both love having her with us. When Andrew comes home late at night, which is everyday, he very much looks forward to seeing her sleeping in our bed. It’s funny (and not so funny when you’re trying to get some sleep) to see them cuddle up together and both snorting the night away~